Who's to Blame?

Since this is a journey to becoming the person I want to become, and not just a weight-loss journey, I've found myself questioning things that I do and why I do them. I blame Biggest Loser. I like the show because it forces people to look inward and find the reason for their outward. (Did that sound totally lame or cool?) Anyway, I was trying to find someone or something to blame for the way I feel about my life and my weight. I could try and push it off on the kids. "If I hadn't gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have put on so much weight!" That didn't seem fair. I could try and blame my parents. "They fed me junk all the time!" That just sounded ridiculous and untrue. I could try and blame life. "You stress me out so I eat too much!" But we all know that that isn't the case...for any of us.

I have a list of a thousand different reasons why I eat too much junk food and don't exercise enough. And they all start with me. At first I was kind of bummed about that fact, because it's somewhat depressing to know that I got myself to this point. The more I though about it, however, and the more excited I got. I realized that I'm the one who gets to say what I do, how I feel and how I act. This was very encouraging. I can pull myself out of this.

I love the scripture in Ether 12:27

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their^aweakness. I ^bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my ^cgrace is sufficient for all men that ^dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make ^eweak things become strong unto them."

I know that I have a weakness in sugary foods. I cave almost every time. I know I have a weakness in not exercising. I'd much rather sleep. But if I'm ready and willing to change, and willing to humble myself, I'm anxious to see those weaknesses become strengths. I'm anxious to be at a place where people come to me for healthy food tips, or for motivation to exercise because I'm the example. Most especially my kids. Last year I tried to work out every morning and I did pretty good for a while. Some mornings, Andrew would come out and try and do crunches with me. It was so cute! The only thing I want my kids to blame me for is for keeping them healthy and active.

Anyway, another page of my random thoughts. Enjoy!