SUCCESS!!!

So, for a little over a week now I've been trying to get my body in a good routine, so as to healthify(is this a real word?) myself. Every day is a struggle. Every day I think of sugar and how good it tastes. Sometimes I give in, but the majority (yes majority!) of the time, I say no. I feel empowered every time I walk past a cinnamon roll from cinnabon, or only take a few small bites of cheesecake, or see the 3 sleeves of oreos in my cupboard still there after 10 days. Each time I decide to eat right I feel like I can do it again, and it's easier each time. I've been taking advantage of spring break by keeping myself active. Walking around a mall or store, walking to Grandma's house with the kids and/or the dogs. I knew it would be very slow going, but at least I was going. Today I weighed myself and found that I had lost almost 3 lbs! This is a very healthy pattern to keep for someone doing only a few changes at a time like I am. I'm excited to start this competition with everyone this weekend and see how far we all can go! Yay!

Adding Exercise!

So last week, I had a 45-65% success rate of eating right, and not eating too much sugar. I did still eat sugar because like I had previously posted, if I can't eat sugar, I overeat and that's no good.

So, last night, as a family, including the dogs, we all walked to Mom and Dad's house and back. It was so fun! And it gave me the confidence to start walking everyday. Not that I can wake up any earlier than 6:30, and Bobby is gone by then so I can't go, but I can totally go after the kids go to bed. I took Natasha and we walked up the hill a little ways, turned around and came back. Only about 1/2 hour, but enough to make me winded. And enough to make me so proud of myself. So much so that I ate a chimichanga when I got home. Still worth it.

yay me!

Who's to Blame?

Since this is a journey to becoming the person I want to become, and not just a weight-loss journey, I've found myself questioning things that I do and why I do them. I blame Biggest Loser. I like the show because it forces people to look inward and find the reason for their outward. (Did that sound totally lame or cool?) Anyway, I was trying to find someone or something to blame for the way I feel about my life and my weight. I could try and push it off on the kids. "If I hadn't gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have put on so much weight!" That didn't seem fair. I could try and blame my parents. "They fed me junk all the time!" That just sounded ridiculous and untrue. I could try and blame life. "You stress me out so I eat too much!" But we all know that that isn't the case...for any of us.

I have a list of a thousand different reasons why I eat too much junk food and don't exercise enough. And they all start with me. At first I was kind of bummed about that fact, because it's somewhat depressing to know that I got myself to this point. The more I though about it, however, and the more excited I got. I realized that I'm the one who gets to say what I do, how I feel and how I act. This was very encouraging. I can pull myself out of this.

I love the scripture in Ether 12:27

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their^aweakness. I ^bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my ^cgrace is sufficient for all men that ^dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make ^eweak things become strong unto them."

I know that I have a weakness in sugary foods. I cave almost every time. I know I have a weakness in not exercising. I'd much rather sleep. But if I'm ready and willing to change, and willing to humble myself, I'm anxious to see those weaknesses become strengths. I'm anxious to be at a place where people come to me for healthy food tips, or for motivation to exercise because I'm the example. Most especially my kids. Last year I tried to work out every morning and I did pretty good for a while. Some mornings, Andrew would come out and try and do crunches with me. It was so cute! The only thing I want my kids to blame me for is for keeping them healthy and active.

Anyway, another page of my random thoughts. Enjoy!

Caramels Put Me in a Sticky Situation...

I love making caramels for people. Whether it's for people who are buying them from me, or just for birthday presents, it has been so much fun to make such a yummy treat for people I care about.

The problem is I also love to eat them. They are around 50 calories each piece, and I have no problem putting away at least 10 of them while I am wrapping. This is a bad thing. There was a time that I wrapped a whole pan and didn't eat a single one. That was weird. I think I need to set a limit of 2 caramels per pan and that's only if I make one pan a week.

Maybe I should stop making caramels altogether. That would solve that problem. Or I would just go buy some. Not as good, but much more convenient.

What a dilemma!

Doing OK so far

So I didn't go all gung-ho like Rachel did and completely change everything. I'm not that strong yet. I think if I were only going on a time-limit diet and exercise regime then I could probably change everything. But I need to really change me before I can change my body, and that is a small step at a time process.

I'm gonna let you all in on a little secret. I don't like being fat. *gasp!* And what's worse? I have a hard time liking the me under the fat. I'm fairly certain that losing all the weight isn't going to magically change how I feel about me, so I'm going a different approach than normal. I'm actually a lot like Rachel in that I'm an all or none type person. But in this respect, when it comes to changing so much, I know I have to take it slow if it's going to make a lasting difference.

The first thing I know I needed to change was all the junk food I've been eating. I have no problem getting good foods in me. I love fresh salads and whole grain bread. The problem is I love to stuff myself with processed sugars and empty calories just a little bit more.

So, the one thing I'm trying to work on this week is to seriously cut my limit of sugary things. I know for sure that I can't cut it out completely. I would die. maybe. In the last few days of trying this out, I've done ok. I went from 100% to maybe 50%. Even if that 50% is still 600-700 calories each day, it's way better than 1200-1400. (Just random numbers. I have no idea how many calories I eat from junk.)

One of the ways I've found to help with not eating sugar, is to drink a glass of water every time I crave sweets. Then I try to find something that will fill me up a lot more than cookies. and I don't mean food. I eat mostly because I'm bored and I think that my time is not that valuable. Now I'm trying to do something whenever I want sugar. I clean a room. I fold some laundry. I plan my next few days of chores or brainstorm craft ideas.

I've found that when I not only cancel out the bad influences in my life, the crap that makes me feel worthless, and add productive activities to my day, I feel like I'm worth the good feelings that good food brings.

It's a slow process. But I can feel it working.

Don't Want to Lose this Motivation!

So, I saw Rachel's blog about losing the baby weight, and then I talked with Camilla about doing a Biggest Loser Competition with the family. And for some reason, I am totally inspired and motivated to lose weight right now! Never mind that I just had 5 oreos. I've got all the tools I need (except a scale) and I have all the support I need (except a sports bra) so what's stopping me? I don't even want to wait until the 24th of this month. I'm going to get the head start now and just keep it going! I've thought about it and I don't want to even have a goal in mind. Why sell myself short? I'm going to be excited about every ounce I lose, and I will take a five lb. loss, or a 50 lb. loss. Every step is a step in the right direction. Health...and fitting into my clothes again.

Wish me luck! and join me if you want!

Two posts in under two months!

This is a first for me. Well, actually a third, but what I mean is that I don't usually stick with something like this very long, and to have three posts already, WOOT!

I wanted to continue the puppy story:

Bobby and I knew that we wanted to name the puppies something that we would never name our kids. And nothing about how they looked, like Midnight or Caramel. We looked at all sorts of names. Nothing was good enough. And by good enough, I mean funny enough.

Bobby finally suggested two names from one of his video games, Sasha and Natasha. They were the names of two giant guns in the game. I felt that because I wanted the puppies to begin with and I would be paying for them, and I would be taking care of them that I should get to name them, too. We couldn't decide on any other name, however, so I tried to strike a compromise with Bobby. We would name the dogs after those stupid guns if he would change Emma's diapers for a whole week. When he was home. He sighed a huge sigh of relief and said, "I would have agreed to three weeks." Man did I feel gypped. It ended up being only 3 or 4 diapers because he had a really busy week and wasn't home much. Oh well.